It's so cold in Alaska

Today, like yesterday, I committed myself to writing. So I got up and I read Truman Capote. Then I tried to write. Have you any idea how hard it is trying to write anything at all that doesn't sound trite and cliched after reading this genius author? Well, in the words of the dame, it ain't easy.

After getting myself in a bit of a lather over the meaningless of it all, I made myself a ham sandwich and pressed on.

I took a walk into town and bought myself a map, because tomorrow I am going on a journey. Oh yes, I cannot be contained within the walls of this small town for long. I'm off to see the world. Well, Lot-et-Garonne anyway. I am planning to travel there upon Mr Rusty, weather permitting, so I had to plan myself a route.

Back home I slammed on Lou Reed (he wasn't complaining) and listened to what Caroline said. Why are all these people so bloody talented? Ian McCulloch, Truman Capote, Lou Reed - I am surrounded by brilliance and I feel myself sinking into a mire of mediocrity. Maybe if I read the Daily Mail for a few days I would feel better about myself. So I sat down to Tuesday's Times crossword (kindly passed to me by people who realised my lack of crossword puzzles was causing my brain to seize up) for some stimulation and even that failed to stimulate me.

This evening I was employed as washerupperer and general extra hand (ha ha) at L'Enfance de Lard. The ladies division of the Rotary Club were there en masse and we had to bang out 25 starters, main courses and desserts rather quickly. I helped where I could, but generally did my best to stop the washing-up from piling up and to ensure M&A's glasses didn't go empty for too long. At the end of the evening we sat down with some of the most important ladies from the organisation, who were absolutely charming, and drank champagne.

So, tomorrow if the weather is fair I shall be setting off for a 50 mile ride on Mr Rusty. Consequently, you may never hear from me again. Thanks for listening. You have been a great comfort to me.

All being well, I'll be back on Sunday.