Ageless! Just like Peter Pan

All along the backwater,
Through the rushes tall,
Ducks are a-dabbling,
Up tails all!

Ducks' tails, drakes' tails,
Yellow feet a-quiver,
Yellow bills all out of sight
Busy in the river!

I don’t know why I thought of that today. It just got stuck in my head when I took a walk by the Dordogne and watched the ducks mucking about, and it wouldn’t go away until I had written it down. Isn’t strange the things you remember from childhood? Just when you least expect it, they pop straight into your brain. It’s from Wind In The Willows in case you were wondering. Kenneth Graeme has a lot to answer for – well he has in my case.

OK, so up at the crack of 7am and churning out words by 8am. Made soup (onion, leek, turnip and potato – wey hey!) mid-morning and carried on writing until lunch at 1pm. Oh yes, in between I must admit (otherwise they will point it out) I worked on The Guardian crossword with my colleagues back in London, who are clearly under a lot of pressure at the moment. Everybody knows sepia comes from cuttlefish for heavens sakes. Don't they?

After lunch, I thought this won’t do. This won’t do at all! I need to get out into the big wide world and make an impression. I did my very best Thora Hird all the way along the side of the Dordogne, but nobody got it. I settled on a bench and wrote copiously, then gave that up and wrote normally. After about an hour I began to appreciate this was the end of December and not exactly the ideal weather to be sitting around outside, and so I scuttled home like a cuttlefish singing the above ditty to myself. Do you see what I'm doing here - bringing all the threads together? And all the Freds - ah Fred - you must meet Fred.

More writing until early evening when I threw in the towel because the sun was well over the yardarm and besides, I didn't need a towel, and I wandered around to a little local restaurant I know (I believe it’s called L’Enfance de Lard) where I was provided with a survival kit of one bottle of fresh milk, a piece of steak, a Times newspaper, a pain aux raisin, a half-full bottle of custard and two large gin and tonics. If you ever happen to find yourself in Bergerac I heartily recommend this place either for eat-in or take-away services. The people who run it seem quite friendly too, although why they always shout ‘Get out! Just get out!’ every time I pop in, well, heaven only knows. I think it may be Tourette’s or a similar affliction. Whatever it is, I'm sure they don't mean the unkind things they shout when they throw stale bread at me as I run across the square.

Back indoors I looked through The Times and was absolutely sickened by the scale of the disaster caused by the tsunami. The photographs were absolutely shocking. I felt dreadful. How are you meant to deal with this kind of news? I stood staring at the paper in stunned silence. All those lives…and still it goes on. It is devastating. It makes one feel guilty for being OK and carrying on.

I cooked my steak and ate it while watching Curb Your Enthusiasm which I think I may have previously mentioned, is quite wonderful.

Tomorrow I have resolved to go on a cycle ride, and Saturday and Monday – I thought I might skip Sunday as the forecast is rain. I need to cycle – I am turning into a tub of lard. Fat and fag-free! Ooh, a fag....nope! Yippee, I am a non-smoker (repeat x100 twice a day).